SITUATION: Balky mail.



The TECHNICAL THUG
Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites sendmail in SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks kernel to implement "index.html#etter"index.html#semaphores. Rewrites sendmail in assembly. Hacks kernel to...

The ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST
Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem.

The MANIAC 
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
# rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
# wall
Mail is down.  Please use interoffice mail until we have it back up.
^D
# write max
I've got my boots and backpack.  Ready to leave for Mount Tam?
^D

The IDIOT 
# echo "index.html#ELP!"index.html#| mail tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!