SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage.



The TECHNICAL THUG
Writes a suite of scripts to monitor processes, maintain a database of CPU usage, identify processes more than a standard deviation over the norm, and renice offending processes. Places script in cron. Ends up renicing the production database into oblivion, bringing operations to a grinding halt, much to the delight of the xtrek freaks.

The ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST
Puts CPU usage policy in motd. Uses CPU quotas. Locks accounts that go over quota. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work, much to the delight of the xtrek freaks.

The MANIAC 
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9  | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`

The IDIOT 
# compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9  | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`